Moms these days seem to be constantly urged to take time for themselves and practice self-care because “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” Raise your hand if you have heard this expression.
While this sounds good in theory, the reality is that self-care sounds like one more thing to schedule into our never-ending to-do list. When you have 45 loads of laundry, little Timmy has baseball practice, your spouse is traveling for work, and your daughter has a school project due tomorrow, guess who always comes in last.
You are the Best Mom for Your Kids
Even on the days when you are running late, wearing spit-up on your shirt, or maybe you lost your temper and yelled at the kids, YOU are the best mom for your kids. You are not a cruise director who has to arrange Pinterest-worthy activities on a daily basis.
You do not need a cleaner house, to lose weight, or to buy more stuff. Your children love you because you give them love and affection. You are the one they want when they are sick or have a boo-boo because they feel comforted with you. Unconditional love and affection from you are what your children NEED, not all of the other things.
Self-Care Helps
Little acts of self-care for moms sure can help you take care of those kids that you love so much. The reality is that it is impossible to show up for your kids and to respond to their needs with love if you are completely depleted. I am going to let you in on a parenting secret that most people don’t talk about. The best possible gift that you can give your kids is a happy, healthy, emotionally stable mother.
Self-Care Truths
What REAL self-care means is that you need to give yourself a break from the things that are NOT priorities to make time for what really matters. It means letting go of the things that are causing you more pain than they’re worth so that you can leave space for the joy.
Self-care is not always a solitary activity like going to the gym, spa, or nail salon. Although if you are looking for new options to try, here is a great list.
What if we looked at true self-care as something we did to make our normal, everyday routines more enjoyable?
If your days are so challenging that you need to schedule time away from them, then maybe you need to take a look at how you have been filling your days.
What if, instead, we structured our days and our lives to allow time for the activities that fill us up? We need activities and hobbies that speak to our soul and energize us. Yes, that might include curling up with a good book on the couch, or visiting the nail salon, or having dinner with your girlfriends.
Self-care can also be turning down a party invitation and to go for a hike with your family. It might mean more family dinners, with no screens in the way. It might mean saying no to a million extracurriculars and committees so that you create some breathing room for yourself and your family. You have to work to find the BALANCE.
Self-care can mean cutting things out of your life — even good things if they add stress.
But what if self-care could also be something bigger?
What if self-care means creating a life that you love, right now?
Fill Your Cup and Don’t Apologize for It
Self-care for moms is not selfish. Taking time for yourself, your family, and your mental health is not selfish. These are the acts of a courageous mother who knows that she cannot respond lovingly and peacefully if she is burnt out. It takes courage to ask for help, and to say “I need this time for myself.” I hope you know by now that self-care is so much more than getting a pedicure.
It takes courage to stand up and say that “I want to ENJOY my motherhood, my children, my marriage and my job — and that might look untraditional.”
What I am saying is that it takes courage to create a life that you truly love. It takes bravery to say that the traditional choices aren’t working for you and your family. Life is too short to live with regret. Don’t just do it for you. Do it for your kids. Do it for your family.
I would love to know your thoughts on this topic in the comments below. Thank you so much for reading.
Filling my cup-I always battle guilt for doing this! I guess it’s because my husband is so self sacrificial, and he doesn’t really have anything he does to fill his cup. Maybe we should work on that together.
I think that’s a great plan to do that together! Sometimes the little things can make the biggest difference.
Such a nice message! Thank you for the validation. You made me smile.
Thank you so much, Karen. I appreciate you!
It is a great message, thank you for sharing it. It is so good to love yourself as you are, and not feel guilty for things you have no time to do.
You are so right about that. Thank you so much for stopping by and reading. Hope your day is amazing.
Self-care for moms s very important! These are great tips for moms to take a break and take care of themselves.
It is so very important, and it’s definitely something I am working on.
As a mother of an almost 5 year old, it’s a struggle even to this day. But self-care is VITAL for moms. You can’t give from an empty cup. We have to make sure that we are taken care of too, in order to be the best MOM for THEM!
You are so right about that. You’re doing great mam!
I love this! Self care is such an important part of parenthood.
While raising ghe kids and looking after the family we really forget to take care of ourselves. Great tips here
Yes! I’ve been struggling with this topic so much lately.
Love the self- care truth point. Self care for moms is so important. Thanks for the tips.
Thank you for stopping by to read. I appreciate you so much.
These are on point tips. Love this!
Thank you so much, Sonia. I really appreciate you stopping by to read it and leaving your comment.