Sandra Hudson

Inspiring Women in Life & Business

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Life is too Short for Small Talk and Fake Friends

small talk and fake friends

Small Talk and Fake Friends

Have you ever struggled with finding true friendship? I’m talk about that long-lasting friendship where they will see you at your worst, and still love and support you. If you have a relationship like this, then you have a treasure. For adults, it may be harder to find. I am pretty much an introvert in my core.  My brain is always processing and reading people, body language, and situations. I literally get anxiety thinking about making small talk with someone I do not know. This led me to this thought…….

Life is too short for small talk and fake friends!
Don’t get me wrong, I love the occasional playdate at the park or a mom get-together, but the truth is, I would rather have a friend whom I could go to dinner with and cry about our sorrows over tacos and margaritas. If the occasional playdate doesn’t lead me to that kind of friendship eventually…… then I’m not interested.

Current Status

I am at a point in my life where I need a friend who will keep it real and talk about the hard stuff. I need someone who will not judge me if I say I really dislike my kids today. I need someone who isn’t afraid to admit it either. You can only do that with friends who will let their guard down, transcend superficiality and are willing to go there with you. I want friends who are willing to get down in the trenches with me about life and sit there with me as I get through it. You see, I am in the thick of life right now. I have two young children who I pretty much shuffle around all day. I have a work-from-home job (that I love and keeps me sane). I have a very supportive husband but he also travels a lot for work, and I have a high-maintenance dog that demands loads of attention. On my good days, I am a hot mess. On bad days, I’m holding it together with glue and a prayer.
I want to be a good person, a good friend, but I don’t have the time or energy for games. I can’t spend my few free hours on “friends” who only call when they need something or are passive-aggressive when we have a misunderstanding. I don’t want to worry about every word that comes out of my mouth or getting judged on my every move. I don’t want to compete with other women, in how we look, or parent, or by the success of our kids. I am too tired at the end of the day to pretend that I am something that I am not.

fake friends

Love Those Authentic Friends

With that being said, I am definitely blessed. I have made—and sustained—friendships that satisfy my hunger for authentic relationships. We have been through the birth of our children and the death of loved ones. We’ve drank, laughed and cried buckets of tears as our family moved across the country. We have celebrated when the kids we love as our own reach milestones and shared wine on evenings when we thought we couldn’t be mothers for one more minute—surviving only because we had each other.
We have hard conversations when honesty—no matter how brutal—was the kindest thing we could offer and held our tongues when we knew someone just needed to vent. We have given marriage advice and encouragement. We have bared our souls in front porch conversations and kept secrets safe from the outside world. No judgment. No expectations. No animosity. No keeping score. Only love, acceptance and a whole lot of laughter. Life is short, and you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Closing Thoughts

At this point in my life, I am struggling to find one real relationship in our big, new city but I am hopeful. With continued prayers, I will continue to put in my hours at the playdates and PTA in hopes to cultivate a relationship that will extend to tacos and margaritas………..and hopefully an authentic relationship. Want to know more about how I got here? Check out this post.

From my heart to yours,

Sandra

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Please join our Facebook community group called Inspiring Beauty in the Mess here.

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Are You Over-Exfoliating Your Skin?

I over exfoliating your skin

Over Exfoliating Your Skin can be a Real Thing

Over exfoliating, your skin can be a real thing. Exfoliating your skin is a definite must. By exfoliating regularly (aka weekly), you are diminishing dead skin and allowing targeted treatments for anti-aging and skin rejuvenation to penetrate more easily. On top of making it a regular part of your routine, it’s important to go about exfoliation correctly. One false move can wreak havoc on your face. Exfoliating too often or opting to use harsher exfoliators does not always equal brighter, healthier, smoother-looking skin. By attempting to maximize the benefits of exfoliating, you may end up overdoing it. Yes, over-exfoliating your skin is an actual thing. To discover key signs of over-exfoliated skin and how to take care of your complexion after the fact, keep on reading.

SIGNS OF OVER-EXFOLIATING YOUR SKIN

Think you may have over exfoliated your skin? You can spot over-exfoliated skin because it looks irritated, red, and chafed. If your skin is looking worse for wear after exfoliating. After introducing a new chemical or physical exfoliator to your regimen, it’s likely that over-exfoliating is the culprit.

How to Care for Over-Exfoliated Skin

If you have taken inventory of your face and think your skin is over-exfoliated, you should not continue as is. You will need to adjust your routine accordingly.

Take a break from exfoliating. Skip the exfoliation for now. Give your skin a break from exfoliation to allow it time to recover. If you keep going, it’s only going to make your skin more irritated. Switch to a more gentle formula. The exfoliators you loved before you over-exfoliated your skin may not be what’s best for your face right now. Even if your skin can normally handle more potent products, over-exfoliated skin may not be able to. Play it safe and stick with only gentle cleansers and moisturizers while your skin recovers.

If you need suggestions on what type of products you should try, comment below or email me at thesandrahudson@gmail.com. I can give you a list of things to try from over the counter options to more natural remedies.
Address skin irritation and chafing. To help comfort over-exfoliated skin, try using a protective ointment, like CeraVe Healing Ointment.

How to Avoid Over-Exfoliating Your Skin

After you have taken care of your skin and helped to reduce visible signs of irritation caused by over-exfoliating, you can slowly start reintroducing exfoliation into your skincare routine. Here’s how to exfoliate without taking two steps back:

1. Weigh your options.

There’s more than one way to exfoliate, and the option you choose could impact how your skin reacts. Selecting a product that is not right for your skin type is all the more likely to result in over-exfoliation or skin irritation. According to the American Academy of Dermatology, those with oily skin may be better suited to stronger physical exfoliation, while those with dry, sensitive, dark spot- or acne-prone skin may prefer a mild chemical exfoliator.

2. Consider the rest of your routine.

It is possible that the products you are already using have made your skin more sensitive to exfoliation. Take an inventory of your routine before deciding to exfoliate. You may need to reconsider your plans to exfoliate if your routine contains prescription retinoid creams or products formulated with retinol or benzoyl peroxide. I always suggest consulting with your esthetician about what ingredients work best with your skin issues.

3. Find the right frequency.

The most important thing you can do when trying to avoid over-exfoliating your skin is to be cautious with how often you exfoliate. Makes sense, right? Exfoliating more frequently won’t necessarily make your exfoliator of choice work better, and it may just damage your skin. How often you exfoliate should depend on your skin type and the exfoliation method selected; the more aggressive the method, the less often you’ll need to exfoliate. Start out by exfoliating once a week. If you think your skin can handle more, gradually increase the frequency, being sure to look out for signs of irritation or over-exfoliation.

4. Be gentle during application and removal.

How you apply (and remove) your exfoliator matters. Whether you are using a face scrub or an AHA or BHA, be sure to apply the product gently in small, circular motions. For a physical exfoliator, the AAD says to only massage it into your skin for about 30 seconds. Then, rinse off with lukewarm water. DO NOT turn the temperature up too high. You run the risk of drying your skin out.

5. Always follow with a moisturizer.

This tip may not prevent over-exfoliation, but it will keep your skin looking it’s absolute best after exfoliating. Since exfoliation can be drying, it is a must to apply moisturizer afterward. Bonus if you use a moisturizer that also doubles as a makeup primer. (This momma is all about efficiency.) My favorite moisturizer can be found here. Comment below with any questions.

over exfoliated skin

Tell me, have you ever struggled with over-exfoliated skin?
If so, I want to hear from you. As always, I hope this helps you if you are struggling with over-exfoliated skin.

XOXO- Sandra

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5 Reasons Why You Should Never Go to Bed With Your Makeup On

I have a confession……..there are some days where I am so tired at the end of the day that I do not wash my face before bed. There, I said it. Truth be told, I did not start religiously washing my face until about a year ago, and I can tell a huge difference in my skin. There are MANY reasons why you should never go to bed with your makeup on but I am going to cover my top 5 reasons below.
Here are my TOP 5: Breakouts Dry Skin Irritation Chapped Lips Wrinkles
To keep breakouts at bay you should be using a high-quality cleanser for your skin type. I am loving the new 3 in 1 cleanser that I have been using. It is a makeup remover, cleanser and a facial mask all in one product. Best of all, it can be applied to a dry face and it melts all of the impurities away. I am a busy mom, so I am all about efficiency. Removing your makeup each night is the perfect way to fend off breakouts.
** Don’t forget to clean those makeup brushes also. **
MOISTURIZE your skin. Sleeping in a moisturizer is going to keep your skin soft, smooth and supple as well as keep it from drying out. My favorite moisturizer can be used day and night and will repair your skin cells as well as give you anti-aging benefits while you sleep. Want more plump, healthy looking skin? Use a moisturizer than contains hyaluronic acid, drink your water daily and see the glow in your skin.
Cleansing your face before drifting off to bed at night will keep irrigation at bay. Including any kind of nasty eye irritations from sleeping in mascara. Bacteria lives in your hair follicles, and if you are not cleansing your face each night, that bacteria is living on your lashes. (Ewwww!!!)
** Pro Tip – replace your mascara every 3 months to get the bacteria from growing inside your makeup. **
Chapped Lips can be prevented while you sleep by using a Moisturizing Lip Balm which provides anti-aging and restorative benefits. I used to be a chapstick junkie until I realized how bad it was for your lips. Wax creates a barrier on your lips, and even water can not penetrate through to hydrate them. Get a wax-free lip balm for optimal results. Need suggestions? Let me know and I can tell you a couple of my favorites.
Find a skin care system with anti-aging and anti-wrinkle benefits for long term benefits. I have tried a lot of products from over the counter to higher end department store brands and I am OBSESSED with the Aqua Lumiere line. Not only does it hydrate your skin, but it diminishes fine line and wrinkles, reduces puffiness, eliminates dark circle around the eyes, clears skin, diminishes pores, dark spots and sun damage. Plus, it is only 4 products made with European standards. Hello, non-toxic beauty!
Did you know that going to bed in your makeup can age your skin 7 TIMES FASTER?!?! I don’t know about you, but as I am approaching 40…….I do not want to look any older than I am.

Make sure you are using quality products to prolong the life and health of your skin. I also realize that not every skincare product works for every skin type. I read and do a lot of research on ingredients. If you have any questions, or want recommendations to try, please comment below and I will give you my suggestions.
If you want to get on the waiting list to sample the luxury beauty brand that is my current fav, let me know. More samples will be arriving soon!!
xoxo-Sandra

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Have we Met? My name is Sandra and this is my story.

Have we met?

Hi there! Have we met?

Hi there! Have we met? Because if not, I’d absolutely love to meet you. I’m always up for a new friend, even if just through social media. Welcome to my little corner of the internet.
If someone asked you to share with them your story, where would you begin? I believe what you start with gives a great insight into your personality. There’s so much to choose from, so many different areas of life that you could begin to unpack as you attempt to get to know the person you are speaking with a little bit better.

Have you ever felt lost?

Like you didn’t even know yourself anymore?

I have and that is part of the reason why I am here.

I have been married to my best friend for almost 14 years. We have our struggles just like any other married couple, but there is literally no one else that I would want to do life with. He is my rock and biggest supporter. Together we have two children that constantly keep us on our toes and three angel babies. I consider myself to be a hot mess mom who is always in a frenzy trying to cope with life. Maybe it’s my Type A personality or the fact that I HATE not being in control of a situation…..I am still trying to get better about that. I love my coffee every morning (seriously, don’t talk to me until I have had my first cup) and I love a good glass of wine. I am super sarcastic and some people just don’t get me. But you know what…….that is ok. That just means they are not your people. Let me honest though, this is just a surface level introduction. It’s going to get deep in here…..

Going Deeper

I was never one of those women who dreamed of becoming a stay-at-home mom. I have always been a career and goal-oriented lady. I worked full-time when I had Parker, but after having 3 unexplained miscarriages when trying to conceive Stella, my wants shifted. I did not want to miss milestones or a minute of her life since we knew she would be our last baby. Fast forward to 2 years after her birth. I just felt lost. The first 2 years of her life I spent caring for her and bonding with her while also doing all the things for our older son as well. I was in charge of the home. I created the meal plans, I grocery shopped, I took the kids to school, I helped with homework, I planned the birthday parties, I did the laundry, I took them to the doctor appointments…….well you get it.
Now my husband that I spoke about earlier is so good to help me with all of these things, but his main priority is to work and provide for our family (which he is great at). He also travels a lot for work while working long hours to create and develop his own brand and company. In the midst of doing all of those things, I think I lost my focus and I lost a part of me, and I so desperately wanted to find it again. I needed something for me, to refuel me.

Where am I now?

A few years ago I started a new business that has completely changed my outlook on life. For starters, I realize how important it is to take care of yourself first. It is so hard to be what you need to be for others if you’re pouring from an empty cup. Through working this business, I have made life-long friendships, gained more self-confidence and realized that my greatest joy is helping other women begin to see their own beauty – inside and out. This path has led me here to this blog you are now reading. Writing is very therapeutic for me. I communicate better through writing my words instead of speaking them. Creating a blog has always been a dream of mine, and I am so happy you are here to share this with me.
Follow me along this journey of self-development.
Stay tuned, my sweet new friend.
My story is not over yet…..

From a wife, mom, businesswoman and your new friend,

Sandra

** You are invited to check out our positive, uplifting community of women here. I look forward to connecting with you. **

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